Rachel Bykowski Playwright
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I Must be a Masochist - A Playwright's Burnout Journal

8/4/2022

 
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Entry # 1
​Stats 

I began my playwriting “submission mission” back in 2016. I had always submitted to playwriting festivals here and there in the past, but in 2016 I had the confidence, the training, the body of work, and the resources to start becoming a professional play-submitter. 
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Six years later, I stare at my submission tracker that is filled with over 300 play submission opportunities. I use a color coding system that helps me track how many submissions I’m waiting to hear back from (yellow,) I was accepted (green,) how many I advanced in - like a semi-finalist (blue,) and how many I was flat-out rejected from (red).
Red absolutely covers my screen. The next prominent color is unfortunately, yellow and no, they aren’t “fresh” submissions. It's simply because the theatre festival never replied or updated me on my status. After about a year of no response, I consider it a rejection and move on. On average, I have about a 71% rejection rate to date (August 5, 2022.) 
Optimism VS. Realism
71%. There are probably optimists out there who look at that and say, “It’s not 100%!” but unfortunately, I’m worse than an optimist…I’m a realist. My acceptance rate is about 8%. The rest are covered in yellow with bits of blue.  If I faced an 71% rejection rate and only an 8% acceptance or success rate at my survival job (day-job,) meaning 71% of my requests for professional development, promotions, pay raises, benefits, work/life balance, etc are rejected…I would quit that job.
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No. No Thanks. Nope. Nah. Hell No. 
In fact, I have quit jobs like that and moved on to better opportunities that were more fulfilling or at least helped me pay my bills on time. So, why do I stay in this position where close to three-quarters of the time I hear the word, “no?” The truth is, I don’t know why I keep coming back. Why do I keep on this “submission mission” when every rejection only makes that number grow and that 71% gets heavier and heavier. I feel like I'm rolling a boulder up a hill, but I’ll never reach the top.
 
You want to know what makes that boulder even heavier? I’m not the only one. Think about that 71% and increase that exponentially. This isn’t meant to guilt trip anyone who gets accepted, or wins an award, or makes it to the final round (seriously, congrats!) But the reason I’m sharing this is because that’s all we ever hear about. We only hear about the wins. The highlights. Including from me. Of course it is important to celebrate the wins. They’re amazing! But it’s so important to remember we are all carrying boulders. Maybe if we shared those boulders, they wouldn’t be so heavy.

Murder, We Spoke and the Importance of Giving Yourself Permission

7/28/2022

 
One of the best pieces of advice I've received as a playwright in terms of the role of the playwright was the following, (I'm paraphrasing a little):
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UMMMMM, F*CK YOU!
Let me pause here to clearly state this is
not a diss in anyway shape or form to the fellow artistic collaborators who share their talents to create magic on stage. The statement was meant to inspire the playwrights in the room to own their inventive power and acknowledge their creative privilege.
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​By creative privilege, I mean that we playwrights are in charge of practicing our art. Playwrights are solely responsible for creating their work. 
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Other artistic collaborators, like actors and designers, must wait until they are provided an opportunity. Once actors, directors, and designers are given a script or an ensemble, then they can practice their art by interpreting the work on the page and transforming it on the stage.  ​
Playwrights do not have to wait. The only permission we need is from ourselves to practice our art. As a result, we should use this privilege or freedom to assist our fellow artistic collaborators in flexing their interpretive muscles. After all, without them, our work dies on the page. Actors, designers, directors, dramaturges, stage managers, all of them give our work life. We owe it to them for breathing life into our words. So, we must create.
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Easier said than done from 2020-22.
Pandemics and pox.
Bans on our bodies.
Mass shootings.
Corruption.
Racism.
Homophobia.
Transphobia.
Climate change.
And...I'm probably forgetting something. 

​How the fuck does anyone expect me to write and "be creative" when world looks like ::gestures widely::???!!!!
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The answer: Do it for yourself. And you might make magic for someone else. 

In fact, as a playwright, you should always START with wanting to write for yourself. That is how you start from a place of truth. My truth led me to Murder, We Spoke. 

Here are a few things I am NOT:
I am NOT a podcaster.
I am NOT a radio broadcaster.
I am NOT a sound designer or engineer.
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BUT...I LOVE this story. I LOVE these characters. And I want to see how far I can go. I didn't wait for someone to give me permission to start writing this podcast series. I am a creative artists and I am giving myself permission to write this podcast series - with mistakes, flaws, plot holes, missed beats, and all.​
One of the best pieces of advice I can bestow upon new playwrights is to keep creating even if you think no one is watching. Playwrights at the beginning of their careers have shared with me that they stop creating after one or two plays. They then spend years advocating for this one play. They refuse to move on and stop practicing their art until this one play gets published, produced, etc... Please do not do this. Do not push aside new ideas, observations, outlines, scribbles on paper because you MUST cling to this one play. Embrace those thoughts, put pen to paper, open the laptop, and get to writing the NEXT play. Even if no one is watching. Do it for your future collaborators, but must importantly, do it for yourself. 

I have no clue how to construct a podcast, let alone write a series for it. But, I'm not here to be an expert. I'm here because I have a story. 

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For more info on Murder, We Spoke, click here​

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    About the Blog​

    I write plays. I tell stories. I create content. I vent. I offer advice. I hope people will learn from my mistakes.

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